felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
