Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
