Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
