ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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