margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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