The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
