Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
