I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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