They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
a search helicopter?!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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