i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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