Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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