hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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