I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
