So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
