You're completely useless in the revolution.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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