bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Rumble strips road head = magical
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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