shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
