I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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