i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
