Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
