I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I need to sanitize my soul.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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