btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I can't put those talents on a resume
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
