we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
