I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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