I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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