My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
