VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
