Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
