Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
