No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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