I'm gonna have a badass scar
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
