oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
