Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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