Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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