Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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