Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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