well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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