Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My dick has a subreddit
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
