Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think i got beer on your cat.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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