I never want to see another naked old woman again.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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