apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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