even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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