I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
