and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
