I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
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Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
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is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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