I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
