So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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