That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
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Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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