I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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