He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
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im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
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I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize