you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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