he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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