This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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