I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
