So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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