tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize