Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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