I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
