omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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