did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
