u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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