Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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