i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.