somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
