Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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